Discovering Your Enlightenment Spiritual Learning Series "Forgiveness"
Each of us have someone or something to forgive in our past. or perhaps even current life circumstance.  This forgiveness can be for ourselves, or for another, and sometimes for a situation.  It has always been a personal pet-peeve of mine when new age counselors tell their clients "let it go, release it".  Great.  Easier said than done, however.  What many of the laymen don't know is this.  Those very people walking quietly with hands folded whispering cliché after cliché are tigers when crossed themselves!  Being among the new age guru types for decades now, there is nothing more disturbing than seeing the spiritual leader who just delivered an inspiring, whispered soft lecture on the power of love.  Oh their eyes were partly closed, and the beamed radiance whilst they echoed pure unconditional love.  Back stage, however, they go off like a cannon on their assistants!  The hypocrisy would be comical if not for the people in the audience left feeling as if they can never meet the pure essence the speaker emulates, and thus feel as if they have failed once more in their lives.  An impossible standard was supposedly set, and once again in the audiences lives, they are left to feel less than.  What of the speaker?  What do you expect?  That speaker is human too, even if they want to hide it behind long flowing gowns, or spiritually elitist demeanors .  Look at the guards of Buckingham Palace who attempt not to be distracted, but to appear as a statues, or a machines (if you will).   Once in a while, however, a tourist does something so outlandish the guard is caught snickering, or even worse, looking shocked!  The point is, no matter what type of facade is put upon a human, they are still human.  I embrace my humanness, I am not ashamed of it.  I have a temper.  It's better than it used to be when I was young, but I have one none the less.  I can get fired up in less than 60 seconds.  Now, do I know this is fear based?  Of course!  Am I working hard on removing the fear blockages?  Of course!  In the meantime, I work on forgiveness.   "forgive our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." So, before you beat yourself up because you have tried to let it go, prayed until your voice is horse, and felt shame for years because you didn't quite make it to "Forgivenessland" , remember you have no one to impress other than your own soul.  If you are considering yourself less than spiritual, not worthy of the Universe's love, and just an all around bad person because you cannot find the path of forgiveness, I give you permission today to lay all of that down.  It's just too heavy to carry alone.  The Universe has strong shoulders, so to speak, and can handle this burden of yours.  We just have to do our part to aspire to the place of peace, Forgivenessland. So, let's stop feeling badly for not being able to achieve the forgiveness we suggest to each other as humans.  Instead let's use tools others have developed for us, and move the energy of grudges, jealousy, hurt and emotional (and sometimes physical) pain out of our lives for good!  This movement takes our lodged pain out of its holding pattern and into flow.  This flow allows us to process and evacuate our slights and injustices.   There are several methods performed individually or together to create a powerful release and forgiveness experience.  Let's review each of them.  One or more ceremonies may appeal to you, go with your heart.  Choose the method of forgiveness fits you best.  Of course, for deeply rooted things you may want to use them all!  It can't hurt, it can only heal.   Ho'ponopono The Hawaiian religion of Huna  speaks of Alki cords that are built between people as well as situations.  Forgiveness is the key, but not just for others, but for yourself as well.  Simply put it is a releasing prayer.  It states:  "I love you,  I'm sorry,  Please forgive me,  Thank you."  I suggest considering the person you want forgiveness from OR want to give forgiveness too.  First of all let me explain why the prayer offers yourself up to the person you are seeking to forgive yourself.  There is NEVER a situation where you were not involved that occurs in your life.  Meaning, if there were problems, your essence was 50% of it.  That's difficult for a lot of people to understand and to accept, but it is truth nonetheless.  You may think "I would never have brought that person into my life".  Then, why were they there?  I believe we make agreements with other souls long before coming to this Earth place.  Those agreements include teaching each other something, sharing of souls, and oftentimes providing conflict to promote growth.  Shocking isn't it?  So, the prayer speaks only for yourself, as you cannot speak for the other person.  Anger, guilt or emotional pain all create Alki cords between two (or more) people.  The prayer cuts those cords.  Its so simple we often think, "it can't work, it's too easy".  As with everything, however, there is a catch.  Here is the only one I know with Ho'ponopono.  You have no control over how the Universe sets this forgiveness into place.  You may hear from the person, you may suddenly have all soured feelings turned into indifference.  There can be may ways the Universe will see fit to settle this matter, the key for you to remember is to surrender the control of HOW and WHEN it is accomplished.  You must be truly ready to release this Alki cord when you do the prayer.  If the Universe sends this person to you, they call you, you run across them in the neighborhood store (especially if it isn't their neighborhood!) be ready.  When your connection happens (if this is the method the Universe chooses), you must be in FORGIVENESS mode.  If you allow malice, spite, or snide ness to take over your heart, you will not receive the release you requested from the Universe.  Be ready to forgive and move on with your life. My suggestion is to say the Ho'ponopono 3 times at a time.  Meaning say it once for yourself, once for the person you are seeking to forgive or request forgiveness from, and once for the situation itself.  This means you are asking the "situation" (thinking of it as an actual living thing), for forgiveness for your part in the event. I suggest a rotation of saying the 3 part (yourself, them and the situation), Ho'ponopono  3x's a day for 3 weeks.  The rate of results depends on several things; your energy level (for example if you work on yourself, and your soul a lot it should go quickly), the depth of pain associated with the situation (we seem to want to hold our pain like one would hold something they love to them), and of course the length of time the grudge has been held. Tapping It Out! Tapping was introduced to me by a great healer friend of mine.  I always had phobias about people coming to my home.  I felt like it was never clean enough, fresh enough for visitors.  This stemmed from a childhood trauma, and created quite the fear blockage.  Tapping is also known as E.F.T.   The following was taken from another website, and is not my original work:  What is E.F.T?  The Emotional Freedom Techniques (E.F.T.) is a group of powerful processes that can help just about anyone to achieve genuine freedom from the emotions that have created problems in their lives. These techniques have been described by some as one of the most important breakthroughs in the area of psychology in this century. They have been used successfully with thousands of people with a broad range of difficulties
A picture is worth a thousand words, so I invite you to watch this youtube video of E.F.T. for forgiveness.  There are many ways to do tapping to release negative patterns, and you can review more and more videos and master this unique and effective energy work.
Argument By Proxy How many times have you thrown a fit, slammed doors, mumbled under your breath, until finally you are blurting bits and pieces of sentences out loud as you vent to an empty room?  This is considered an argument by proxy.  For those who are more visual, you can use a teddy bear in place of the person in question you are just wanted to rip in to.   This is one of my favorite release and forgive techniques to use with my husband.  Poor man has been told off so many times without his conscious knowledge, he just has no idea!   The argument by proxy allows you to get your feelings out of your system, out of your body and into the air where they can be released.  It also allows you to say what is on you mind and heart without actually hurting the other person or saying things that cannot be unsaid.
Journaling Which teenage girl doesn't know about using your diary to log your feelings de jour?  Are you aware the same practice we learned as teens can assist us with adult problems today?  The hardest part is beginning.   As a writer myself, both self journaling, teaching and writing fiction, there is few things as overwhelming as the blank page.  It all seems so clean, so fresh that is difficult to begin the writing project in fear of getting something wrong  or soiling the pristine pages with mucked up words.  Let's turn that thinking around, however, and see those empty pages as a canvas eager for your painting, your painting of words and stories. There really isn't a procedure to journaling, other than allowing yourself to express yourself safely.  When suggesting journaling to my clients and students, I always ask them to secure their journals in a safe place only they have access too.  This is so important, as you must feel as if your words will never be read, and your privacy never be violated to allow the deep flow of feelings onto paper that you are seeking. One recommendation is use an in expensive journal.  I buy mine at the dollar store, and although they don't have a lot of pages, they fill quickly as I move in and then out of a situation or mindset.  The more expensive journals I have purchased, or have been given as lovely gifts remain un-used.  Why?  They're too pretty to mess up!  :) Many people have chosen to blog on line as a form of their journaling.  Although that may seem like a great idea currently, one must remember that what is on the web, is on the web forever.  It isn't like paper that is crumbled up and thrown away, it is always alive in cyber space.  In other words, are the things you are saying in your blog today, something you will be comfortable in reading 10, 15 or 20 yrs. from now?  How about your career?  Will you be ok when your potential new employer googles you, and discovers your venting blog?  Especially if one of your entries is about how much you wish you could get back at your current boss.  Think before you blog! Some folks set aside a certain time each day to journal, and others only journal from time to time when they feel the need.  Regardless if you are self-talking about everything in your life, your thoughts, your drives, your habits, and your nature, or if you just need to self-talk when you are upset and venting, journaling can be a very useful therapy for you.
Cutting the Cords for Closure Are you tired of carrying the burden of a past relationship?  Are you truly done with it?  This exercise is a wonderful ending ceremony, but will not be effective if you have hopes or reconciliation, or if you have such anger in your heart that it blocks the true release.  Anytime you feel anger you are far from done, as there are still hooks inside of you.  Hooks to the other person or the situation.  Whatever the source, the hook itself reveals your current connection and therefore too solid and still too involved to close the door upon.  Trying to close a door in the middle of a tornado is almost impossible.  Not totally, but not the best scenario to assist your soul in releasing and forgiveness.  You will need some supplies: A brand new doll (such as Barbie or Ken) that resembles the person you're wanting to break with. A length of red ribbon (3 yards seems to be the correct size) An empty shoebox  A new pair of scissors a fire proof container letter writing materials, including envelope The first step to this demonstrative ceremony is to write a letter concerning the person or situation in question.  Let all of your feelings out!  Perhaps it is one page, perhaps 100.  Keep writing until you KNOW you are finished.  You will feel tired, drained and a bit disoriented if you have truly unloaded yourself on paper.  This can take days, so not to worry how long this ceremony process takes, it takes what it takes. Once you have completed your letter (or novel), you will want to burn it   Be sure to take precautions, and burn in a safe environment such as a fire proof container.  Take the ashes from the container and place them in the empty shoe box.   Remove your doll from it's packaging.  Hopefully you purchased one that was closest to the skin, hair and eye color of the person in question.   Place the doll in sitting or standing position eye to eye with yourself.  Tie the red ribbon around the doll's waist and then around your own, representing the cord of connection between you.   Look at the doll, and realize the ribbon represents the cord the exists between yourself, and the person the doll represents.  Take the scissors and place the prepare the blades to cut the ribbon.  Realize once this is done, the cord between you has been cut for all time. Cut the cord. Remove the cord from both the doll, and your own waist and deposit them into the shoe box.  Taking the doll, place it into the box with the cut ribbon, and the ashes of the letter.  Put the lid on the box, and bury it.  If you don't have a place to bury it (some of you may not have a backyard), then you can tape up the box, and give it to a friend to "put on the shelf".  Just like the resentment and past emotional ties to the person you just cut cords from. Know that it is complete and done.
Essential Oils for Emotional Progress Since coming to learn about the power of essential oils, I have recommended various Young Living Therapeutic Grade essential oils for various situations.  Since we are speaking of forgiveness, here are the following oils I suggest.  If you are a Young Living distributor already, you can order from yourself and earn your own commission back.  If you are not a distributor and wish to order the oils, please know that we work on commissions and I would love to help you with your order.   I have included the prices as of - 05/09, prices are subject to change.  If you choose to purchase your products wholesale, you need to be signed up as a distributor.  This one time fee allows you to purchase all of your products at the wholesale discount pricing.  Click on the highlighted products below to go to my Y.L. site and purchase retail.  For wholesale contact me 740-ESP-TINA or info@oilsjustforyou.com  Choose one or more of the oils below to enhance your Forgiveness techniques you are working with.  You can click HERE to go and order using retail pricing. Feelings Collection includes;  Forgiveness, Harmony, Inner Child, Present Time, Release, + Valor.  Pricing - Wholesale $144.75, Retail $190.46   Acceptance - promote feelings of accepting ourselves and others, regardless of perceived barriers. This blend also helps overcome procrastination and denial.  So many times we are waiting for things to change, and this is the sense of procrastination this oil can help to dissolve. Believe - a steadying, balancing effect on emotions, helping you to overcome feelings of despair and move beyond them to a higher level of awareness. Forgiveness - enhance the ability to release hurtful memories and move beyond emotional barriers. The process of growth can only proceed when we have the ability to forgive and let go of negative emotions. Gratitude - elevate the spirit, calm emotions, and bring relief to the body while helping to foster a grateful attitude. Harmony - The liberating, balancing, and calming essential oils in this blend open us to new possibilities while contributing to an overall feeling of well-being. Hope - helps you reconnect with feelings of strength and grounding, restoring hope for tomorrow. This unique blend brings together the benefits of essential oils with the power to uplift and balance the emotions, making you more open to the joys that lie ahead. It may also help to overcome severe, dark thoughts. Humility - helpful for obtaining forgiveness and a deeper spiritual awareness. This soothing and calming combination of oils brings balance to your heart and mind, enabling you to find a peaceful place, where healing can begin. Inner Child - opens the pathway to connecting with the inner self that may have been damaged through childhood misuse or abuse. When children have been abused, they become disconnected from their natural identity, or inner child. This causes confusion and can contribute to undesirable personality traits. The sweet fragrance of this blend may stimulate memory response and help reconnect with the authentic self, which is one of the first steps toward finding emotional balance. Into The Future - formulated to foster feelings of determination and a pioneering spirit, helping you leave the past behind so that you can move forward. Rather than accepting mediocrity because of fear of the unknown, using this blend will enhance enjoyment of challenges leading to success. Joy - a luxuriously exotic blend with uplifting overtones that creates magnetic energy and brings joy to the heart. Magnify Your Purpose - helps foster a positive attitude, encouraging you to rise above adversity, seize the initiative, overcome procrastination and self-pity, and magnify your life's purpose. Present Time - Concentrating on the past can be counterproductive. You can go forward and progress when you focus on the present time. Release (my personal favorite) - combines uplifting, calming oils that stimulate a sense of peace and emotional well-being, which in turn facilitate the ability to release anger and frustration. Repressed negative emotions lie at the root of many health concerns. Release promotes harmony and balance in the mind and body. Surrender - a calming, soothing blend formulated for individuals who feel a need to be controlling. It helps quiet troubled hearts so that negative emotions can be released. Surrender may also help return feelings of equilibrium and inner strength. It is best used with frankincense or conifer oils. Transformation - empowers and upholds changes you want to make in your belief system. By replacing negative beliefs with revitalizing new thought patterns, a transformation in behaviors, emotions, and attitudes is possible. Trauma Life - a calming, grounding blend of therapeutic-grade essential oils formulated to help release buried emotional trauma resulting from accidents, neglect, the death of a loved one, assault, or abuse. Left unchecked, emotionally draining episodes may be at the root of fatigue, anger, and restlessness. Valor - an empowering combination of therapeutic-grade essential oils that works with both the physical and spiritual aspects of the body to increase feelings of strength, courage, and self-esteem in the face of adversity. Renowned for its strengthening qualities, Valor enhances an individual's internal resources. It has also been found to help energy alignment in the body.

\